boobs have feelings too, you know

An experience shared by women all over the world, whether young or old, is the blissful pleasure at the end of a long day when you pop the clip of your bra and feel all the weight simply lift from your chest- literally.

So, my question to you ladies is why do we force our bosoms into over-priced bras, that will probably lose colour and shape after 3 washes, when really all they want is to be free to bounce and jiggle and in some cases, slap together. It’s a well known fact that our tits are all different shapes and sizes (although unbeknown to some men) and some of us are as flat chested as a 12 year old boy. Does a 12 year old boy need a bra? No. Go to any all inclusive hotel and the array of moobs on some men are page 3 worthy. Are they wearing bras? No.

And the price is pure robbery- think about it. If I walked up to you, wrapped a piece of black, see-through mesh around your tits then said “there you go, that’ll be 50 quid please” you’d tell me where to stick it. But as soon as you hang that piece of mesh in a shop where shop assistants feel free to just wander into your changing room at any point, not only will I pay for the bra, but I’m buying the matching thong to go with it for another £30!

Well no more. From this day forward, I will strive to let my boobs be free. So what if they slap me in the face while I run for the bus? At least I’ll be safe in the knowledge that never again will I have the excruciating pain of the under wire gently stabbing its way through my skin while apologizing to the parents of a kid I knocked out with my breasts during a family fun run.